The Interest Rate on Avoidance


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🎯 THE MOMENT

I didn’t write my resignation letter when I left my corporate career.

If I’m being honest, I probably wrote it months (or years) earlier.

I just hadn’t put the words on paper yet.

Because deep down, I already knew.

I knew the role wasn’t what I thought it would be.

I knew the company wasn’t headed where I hoped it was headed.

I knew the version of myself showing up every day wasn’t the version I wanted to become.

But knowing and acting are two very different things.

So I stayed.

And every day I stayed, I paid interest.

Not financial interest.

Energy interest.

Attention interest.

Opportunity interest.

This was 2021.

I was working for a Series D cybersecurity company based in California.

On paper, everything looked great.

The title made sense.

The compensation made sense.

The resume story made sense.

But five months in, I knew something wasn’t right.

Not catastrophically wrong.

Just wrong enough.

The kind of wrong that quietly follows you around.

The kind of wrong that sits in the back of your mind while you’re answering emails.

The kind of wrong that shows up Sunday evening before the work week begins.

The kind of wrong you keep trying to explain away because changing course feels harder than staying put.

Then Labor Day weekend arrived.

My wife and I escaped to Punta Mita, Mexico with friends.

On the surface, it looked like a vacation.

Beautiful beaches.

Great food.

Old friends.

New friends.

Sunshine.

Ocean air.

​
But looking back, I don’t think any of those things were what mattered most.

The breakthrough wasn’t the beach.

It wasn’t paradise.

It wasn’t even the time away.

It was the distance.

For the first time in months, I stepped far enough away from the noise to hear myself clearly.

Away from Slack.

Away from meetings.

Away from expectations.

Away from the constant stream of inputs competing for my attention.

And in that rare quiet, something happened.

Not a lightning bolt.

Not some cinematic moment of revelation.

Just clarity.

The kind of clarity that often arrives when life finally stops shouting long enough for truth to get a word in.

Because sometimes the answers we’re searching for aren’t hidden.

They’re buried beneath noise.

And sometimes what we call clarity isn’t discovering something new.

It’s finally hearing what we’ve known all along.

Somewhere during that trip, after some deep conversations, I pulled up something I had saved months earlier from a business accelerator program with Morning Brew.

​
The Regret Minimization Framework.

​
The question wasn’t:

“Should I leave?”

The question became:

“What would I regret more?”

Staying?

Or taking a swing at building something of my own?

And suddenly the answer felt obvious.

Not easy.

But obvious.

What hit me hardest wasn’t the possibility of failure.

It was the realization that I was more afraid of never trying.

The greater debt wasn’t entrepreneurship.

The greater debt was carrying the question forever.

So on the flight home, I wrote my resignation letter.

​
And the strangest part wasn’t how scary it felt.

The strangest part was how much lighter I felt.

Almost immediately.

Because the weight I had been carrying wasn’t the decision.

It was the avoidance.


⚡ QUICK SPIN

Most people think avoidance protects them from discomfort.

Temporarily, it does.

Long-term, it multiplies it.

Because avoidance behaves exactly like debt.

The longer it sits, the more expensive it becomes.

The interest shows up everywhere.

​
Stress.

Mental load.

Lost confidence.

Frustration.

Resentment.

Fatigue.

Lost momentum.

The cost isn’t usually the decision itself.

The cost is carrying the decision.


🛠️ MY TURN

What surprised me most about that trip wasn’t the decision.

It was how obvious the decision felt once I finally got quiet enough to hear it.

For months, I had convinced myself I needed more information.

More certainty.

More time.

More proof.

Yet sitting there overlooking the Pacific Ocean, I wasn’t uncovering some hidden truth.

I wasn’t solving a complicated problem.

I wasn’t gaining access to information I didn’t already have.

​
If anything, the opposite was happening.

For the first time in months, I had enough distance from the noise to hear what I’d been trying to tell myself all along.

That realization has stayed with me.

Because I’ve noticed how often we confuse information problems with courage problems.

​
We tell ourselves:

“I need to think about it.”

When really:

“I’m afraid of what happens if I admit the answer.”

We tell ourselves:

“I need more clarity.”

When really:

“I don’t like what clarity is telling me.”

We tell ourselves:

“The timing isn’t right.”

When really:

“I know exactly what needs to happen next.”

​
​

That was the lesson.

Not entrepreneurship.

Not career transitions.

Not risk.

The lesson was realizing that many of the biggest decisions in life aren’t hidden.

They’re buried beneath noise.

And the longer we avoid them, the more expensive they become.

That’s the interest rate.

Not just the delay itself.

The energy required to carry the delay.

The attention it consumes.

The mental bandwidth it occupies.

The quiet tension it creates every time the thought resurfaces.

I’ve seen this pattern in leadership.

I’ve seen it in business.

I’ve seen it in relationships.

And I’ve definitely seen it in myself.

The issue is rarely that we don’t know.

The issue is that we don’t yet trust ourselves enough to act on what we know.

And until we do, avoidance keeps charging interest.


📚 THE BACKUP

Psychologists often describe avoidance as a short-term emotional regulation strategy.

​
In plain English:

Avoidance works.

At first.

When we postpone something uncomfortable, the brain experiences temporary relief.

That relief becomes rewarding.

Which reinforces the avoidance.

The challenge is that the underlying issue remains.

And while the discomfort disappears temporarily, the consequences continue accumulating.

That’s why so many challenges feel sudden.

Burnout.

Relationship breakdowns.

Leadership crises.

Business problems.

Health concerns.

Rarely do they arrive overnight.

Most are the result of accumulated avoidance finally becoming visible.

Most breakdowns aren’t events.

​
They’re invoices.


🛠️ THE SYSTEM

One question has become incredibly useful for me:

“What is this delay costing me?”

Not financially.

​
Energetically.

Emotionally.

Relationally.

Professionally.

​
Because every unresolved issue occupies space.

Every open loop consumes attention.

Every postponed decision requires maintenance.

If you’re carrying something right now, ask yourself:

“If I avoid this for another 90 days, what becomes more expensive?”

​
Energy?

Trust?

Opportunity?

Peace?

Relationships?

Confidence?

The answer usually reveals what matters most.

Because awareness doesn’t eliminate the problem.

But it often eliminates the illusion.


đź’ˇ THE SHIFT

The irony is that most of us aren’t waiting for clarity.

We’re waiting for certainty.

And those are very different things.

Certainty rarely arrives.

Clarity often does.

But clarity usually whispers.

Which means if we fill every available space with noise, activity, distraction, and motion, we never hear it.

The answer isn’t always finding something new.

Sometimes it’s finally creating enough space to recognize what was already true.

For years, I believed courage was acting despite fear.

I’m starting to think courage is something simpler.

It’s stopping the negotiation.

It’s becoming willing to acknowledge what you already know.

Because most life-changing decisions aren’t hidden.

They’re visible.

We’re just standing far enough away to pretend we can’t see them.

Avoidance doesn’t eliminate reality.

It only increases the price of admission.


🤗 YOUR TURN

What's something you’ve been carrying longer than you need to?

​
A conversation?

A decision?

A boundary?

A commitment?

A truth?

Something you’ve known for weeks.

Maybe months.

Maybe years.

​
Not because you lack clarity.

Because clarity creates responsibility.

And responsibility requires action.

The truth is, most of us aren’t waiting for answers.

We’re waiting for permission.

​
Permission to trust what we already know.

Permission to move.

Permission to choose.

Permission to stop negotiating.

​
Because every day you wait, you’re making a choice.

Not whether you’ll pay.

Only whether you’ll pay principal…

or principal plus interest.


👊 LET'S TALK

One of the biggest energy drains I see in leaders isn’t actually overwork.

It’s unresolved decisions.

The conversations they know they need to have.

The changes they know they need to make.

The truths they’ve already recognized but haven’t acted on yet.

These invisible burdens consume enormous amounts of energy.

​
Not because they’re difficult.

Because they’re unfinished.

A huge part of the work I do with leaders is helping them identify where avoidance is quietly creating friction.

​
Where energy is leaking.

Where momentum is stalling.

Where a small decision today could prevent a much larger invoice tomorrow.

Because leadership isn’t just about creating growth.

It’s about recognizing what you’re accumulating along the way.

If you’d like a thinking partner to help identify what’s costing you energy, clarity, or momentum, learn more at: 👉 adamwbarney.com​

Cheers, Adam

P.S. One lesson I’ve learned repeatedly: clarity rarely arrives before action. More often, clarity shows up after the first step.

P.S.S. 🎙️ One of the themes that kept showing up while writing this issue is the difference between knowing and acknowledging. This week’s episode with Michael Brooke explores a similar idea from a fascinating angle: what if your nervous system is often recognizing truth before your conscious mind catches up? We unpack emotional erosion, misalignment, and why some of the biggest breakthroughs come from finally paying attention to what you’ve been feeling all along. 👉 Quick Pulse: The 90-Second Truth Test — We Proved It Live | Ep. 65 w/ Michael Brooke and check out The Inside Atlas.

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Adam W. Barney

Practical leadership clarity for founders and executives navigating high-pressure transitions. Each week, I share grounded insights on decision-making, leadership energy, and operating rhythms that actually hold under pressure - no hype, no hustle.

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